Far from the Glory of God

A grave error and weakness on my part is not abiding in Christ gospel and the Apostolic faith. An error which is costing me. Its a choice. I fail to choose what I know I must do...die to myself...to kill my will. As St. Hilarion Troitsky, Confessor and Martyr puts it:

“Just as Satan is not Christ although he deceives in His name, so one cannot be a Christian if he does not abide in the truth of His gospel and faith.”“A heretic cleaves the Church and destroys faith . . . he arms himself against the Church. In relation to the faith, he is a traitor; in relation to piety, he is a defiler, a recalcitrant servant, a lawless son, a hostile brother” (To be Christian Means to Belong to the Church).

To live a life contrary to the life I'm trying to teach my children, is not surpassing the righteousness of the Pharisees. Save me O Lord, for I parish quickly!

Its time to surrender, its time to put the armor on, and charge the battle field. Charge without hesitation or forgetfulness.

Catechism

As an aid in training my children in the Apostolic faith, I have recently purchased "The Doctrine of the Russian Church:being the primer or spelling book (for children), the shorter and longer catechisms, and a treatise on the duty of parish priests" translated by Rev. Richard White Blackmore (Amazon.com). The print in the book is small; however, the material is excellent.

The format is mostly in question-answer style.

The catechism covers items like the creed, the commandments, and some moral thinking. The creed and commandments are broken down into a questions-answers in some great detail.

Also, another excellent source (and free) is "The Longer Catechism of the Orthodox, Catholic Church" found at http://www.pravoslavieto.com/docs/eng/Orthodox_Catechism_of_Philaret.htm#gen0

I am finding both sources to be very helpful. I first learned of these sources from the late Protopresbyter Michael Pomazansky book "Orthodox Dogmatic Theology" which can be purchased from St. Herman Press.

Being Mindful of Every Thought and Action

The Holy Elder Sebastian of Optina (Russia) would sometimes teach:

"Why do some people suffer, become ill, endure sorrows and offenses, etc., almost all of their lives? Because of the sins of their parents and grandparents. These sufferers are like a living sacrifice offered up to atone for the sins of their parents and grandparents."

The words of this holy elder remind me to be on guard, being mindful of every thought and action so as not to pave a path of unrighteousness for my children to follow. I find this to be difficult. God has revealed to me the elephant I am to eat (all those things which I am holding onto, keeping me from receiving the love of the all Holy Trinity), and I shall focus on eating this elephant one bite at a time, so as not to become overwhelmed and paralyzed by the magnitude of the task.

Why do I find it so important to eat this elephant? Proverbs has the answer:

"Evil men will seek me, but not find me, for they hate wisdom, and choose not the fear of the Lord. Neither do they wish to follow my counsels, but despise my reproofs. Therefore, they shall eat the fruits of their own way and be filled with their own ungodliness...But he who obeys me shall dwell in hope, and shall be at rest without fear from every evil" (1:31-33, 35).

Saint Gregory of Nyssa teaches:
"The man who has once chosen pleasure in this life, and has not cured his inconsiderateness by repentance, places the land of the good beyond his own reach; for he has dug against himself the yawning impassable abyss of a necessity that nothing can break through."

We as a people learn a lot of what we do through what we observe from others. If my children see me live as a hypocrite, then all I am associated with becomes discredited before them. But, if I am able to humble myself before the Lord, and walk blamelessly before our God in my home and in the market place, passing on the piety of faith; then through the prayers and guidance of the most pure and holy Mother of God, their holy guardian angles, and their patron saints, may they dwell in the hope of our God.

Lord, grant unto me true repentance, humility and contrition of heart; guiding my hands and feet unto your commandments.

Passing on the Faith

"It is pleasing to the Lord to glorify His servants by the wondrous gift of miracle-working. But miracles are not essential for the recognition of a Saint of God, neither is the incorrupt preservation of the Saint's body (relics), nor the requirement of certain outstanding deeds. It is the Church-oriented Orthodox consciousness in the people that is the determining factor, the Orthodox 'feel' for God's Saint, that effects the canonization. The Official Church glorification is but the final seal of this." -In Father Herman Alaska's Saint by F.A. Golder

Guide Our Hands

Psalm 89 ends "and let the brightness of the Lord our God be upon us, and the works of our hands do Thou guide aright upon us, yea, the work of our hands do Thou guide aright".

My little builder (as the wife and I call him), is having some trouble concentrating during the divine services, and at home during our family prayers. His hands want to hold something, but usually that something leads him away from paying attention to the words of the prayers, or even what is going on in the service. After reading one of the best explanations on the prayer rope, by a monk of the Holy Mountain, in On The Prayer of Jesus, by Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov; I discussed with our priest about getting little builder a prayer rope for the services-which he has blessed with encouragement.

This monk of the Holy Mountain writes "the holy Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov mentions that the lengthy services held in the Orthodox Church are also a good opportunity for praying with the prayer rope. Often there are times when it is difficult to concentrate on the words being read or chanted, and it is easier to concentrate quietly...especially [with] the Jesus Prayer, with the assistance of the prayer rope. In fact, this often helps a person concentrate better on the services itself, something mentioned by St. Seraphim of Sarov. Of course, when we are praying at the services, our prayer is joined to that of the entire Church".

It is my hope and prayer, that with our Lord's help, I will be able to help little builder begin to concentrate, and participate in the divine services more fully with the aid of the prayer rope. We have done this for two Sundays now, it has improved his attention a little; however, as expected, I need to not alter serve for a bit, to help guide him in this. I'm hoping that once we have his prayer rope, I will be able to take him on prayer walks at home; and have him use the beads while saying his prayers at night (to help him associate the prayers he says now, with that of the beads: Jesus Prayer, to the Mother of God, the Guardian Angel, his Patron Saint, his Sister's Patroness, and all the Saints).

He has used a prayer rope for one service, and prayer beads for another. He has decided it is easier to use the beads. So I found an inexpensive, but yet nice 30 bead chotki from Russia on ebay. Little builder thought this one would be good. I explained the process of ebay, so we will see in few days the outcome. Once we have one, I'll have him bring it to Church to be placed on the holy alter to be blessed, and will let him receive it back from our priest. All of this in hopes that it will help make his faith more real.

Yea, O Lord, the work of our hands do Thou guide aright,

O Lord, conquer me. Grant me meekness, patience, long suffering, humility and above all - love.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinful papa.

Good Guys and Bad Guys

I grew up playing good guys and bad guys; typically it meant the good guys would beat up or kill the bad guys. The bad guys always fought us back, trying to beat up or kill us the good guys. The cartoons I watched supported the theme of good guys and bad guys (G.I. Joe, Smurfs, Care bears, etc). When I become a teen, the TV shows and movies I watched (MacGyver, the Fall Guy, Silver Spoons, RoboCop, etc) still supported the theme of good guys and bad guys. Even as an adult the theme of good guys and bad guys is still supported, but often times now, those roles are blurred-but that’s another day.

To the world, this is normal; this is the order which keeps the balance. But for the Christian, it’s poison. Here is what St. John of Kronstadt says about the good and bad guys:

Every man on earth is sick with the fever of sin, with the blindness of sin, is overcome by the fury of sin; and as sins mostly consist of malice and pride, it is necessary to treat everyone who suffers from the malady of sin with kindness and love. This is an important truth, which we often forget. We often, very often, act in opposition to this truth; we add malice to malice by our anger, we oppose pride by pride. Thus, evil grows within us and does not decrease; it is not cured, but rather spreads. Lord, have mercy upon us, have mercy upon mankind!

The good and the bad guys are both equally sick, and neither beating up nor killing with guns and bombs will cure the other. This is important for me as a papa to grasp. Its my duty to stop my children from following in my footsteps of unrighteousness; instead, my duty is in teaching them the value of human life, accordingly as the All Holy Trinity has revealed truth to us-His image, in His likeness. Wake up, O my sinful and slothful soul! Throw out those movies and books which teach your children contrary to the message of the Church. Lord, help me to lift up my cross and sanctify our home. For the Lord calls:

You have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, Do not resist the evil man; but if anyone strikes you on the right jaw or cheek, turn to him the other one too…You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy; But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (the Gospel of Jesus Christ, according to St. Matthew 5:38, 39, 43, 44).

St. Ignatius Brianchaninov, in his guide for the spiritual life: The Arena-an offering to contemporary monasticism, puts forth a point about the influence of the world which helps to illustrate just how effective the world influences children (in addition to us):

Life according to the will of God is becoming very difficult. That is because, when you live in the midst of temptations and have them constantly before your eyes, it is impossible not to be influenced by them. Just as ice in the presence of warmth loses its firmness and is converted into the softest water, so even a heart overflowing with good-will, if exposed to the constant influence of temptations, is weakened and changed.

I find it difficult to (1) be an Orthodox Christian, to live “life according to the laws of God…on account of the widespread, general apostasy” (St. Ignatius) - not to mention my cold heart which I have cultivated over the years. (2) It’s difficult trying to raise my children in this widely accepted apostasy. Every day I see the negative effects of the world which pull my children further away from the true knowledge and love of God. But in the midst of this, I try to remember these words from St. John of Kronstadt:

Acknowledge that all the saints are our elder brothers in the one House of the Heavenly Father, who have departed from earth to heaven, and they are always with us in God, and they constantly teach us and guide us to eternal life by means of the Church services, Mysteries, rites, instructions, and Church decrees, which they have composed as for example, those concerning the fasts and feasts; so to speak, they serve together with us, they sing, they speak, they instruct, they help us in various temptations and sorrows. And call upon them as living with you under a single roof; glorify them, thank them, converse with them as with living people and you will believe in the Church.

Lord, have mercy on me, a sinful papa.